Please Don't Become Perfect, You'll Have No One to Relate To
Welcome to My Blog
This space is dedicated to sharing insights, reflections, and practical tools for personal transformation. I’m excited to take this journey with you, and I hope my experiences can inspire and support your own growth.
Uncovering a Core Subconscious Constraint
I recently uncovered some core subconscious constraints (programs/beliefs) that if I got things wrong, that meant I was bad. That if I made a mistake, I would be in trouble, punished, and ultimately, unworthy of love.
This belief ran deep. It shaped the way I moved through the world, the way I worked, the way I hesitated, and the way I sometimes froze in fear of imperfection.
The Roots of Perfectionism
Growing up, I learned that mistakes equaled disapproval. My dad would be mad when I was in trouble, and in my childlike understanding, I internalized that anger as proof that I was not good enough.
I carried this belief into adulthood, unconsciously acting as though every misstep meant I was failing at life. Trying to be perfect became my armor, my shield against feeling unworthy. But the irony of perfectionism is that in trying so hard to avoid mistakes, I inevitably made them anyway. And when I did, the shame cycle kicked in—procrastination, self-doubt, and the overwhelming fear of disappointing others.
Choosing a New Perspective
Here's what I'm realizing: This belief is not the truth. It was simply the condition I was placed in. I chose this to teach myself a deeper truth—one that I am now embodying and sharing.
Mistakes don’t define me. I am already enough. Perfection is an illusion, and the pressure to attain it only keeps us stuck.
Holding Space for Imperfection
Now with my new awareness that I have been living under the belief that if I got things wrong, I was bad. That I had to be perfect to be loved. I now choose to hold space for myself to integrate that part of me—to allow space for myself to be imperfect, to be vulnerable, and to show up authentically with others.
I can see now that because I’ve been showing up from a place of believing I have to be perfect, I haven’t been fully showing up at all. I’ve been afraid of rejection, and so I still play small, hold back, and sometimes feel nervous to fully speak out, or I became overly confident in an arrogant way as a defense mechanism.
It’s not always the case, but in general, I can see how I’ve been withholding parts of myself—keeping my true self in the shadows—out of fear that I won’t do it perfectly. And now I see clearly: This is a lie I’ve been telling myself. I don’t have to show up perfectly. I just have to be.
Embracing My Own Voice
For a long time, I found myself mimicking others’ work. Not out of a lack of originality, but because I was learning—absorbing, processing, and integrating what resonated with me.
Yet, instead of trusting this process, I judged myself for it, thinking I was doing something wrong. But maybe, just maybe, the process of learning involves imitation before we fully find our own voice. Maybe what I thought was a flaw was actually the path to self-expression.
Integrating and Accepting Myself
Even now, as I step more fully into my work, I fear messing up. I fear not being good enough. But I also know that part of me—the one afraid of imperfection—is not something that needs to be erased or fixed. It needs to be integrated, held, and loved.
Healing isn’t about deleting the parts of ourselves we don’t like; it’s about embracing them. The ego doesn’t want to be fixed. It wants to be accepted.
Living Authentically
Can I be at peace with where I am right now? Can I show up fully as myself, flaws and all? Because the truth is, the more I embrace my own imperfections, the more I allow others to do the same.
No one relates to perfection. Perfection is isolating, lonely, and ultimately unattainable. But rawness, realness, vulnerability—that's where connection is born.
Choosing to Show Up as I Am
I spent years playing the survival game—trying to be the best, the most capable, the most put-together—because deep down, I believed that if I wasn’t, I wouldn’t be loved. But love isn’t earned through perfection. It’s received when we allow ourselves to be seen as we are.
So I’m making a new commitment—to show up as myself, mistakes and all. To stop striving for some impossible standard and instead, embrace the messy, beautiful process of learning and growing.
To express myself not to earn approval but because I am passionate about teaching and sharing what I’ve learned. And if I mess up along the way? Who cares? That’s part of the adventure.
The Beauty of Imperfection
Life isn’t about getting everything right. It’s about figuring it out as we go. And in that process, in that imperfection, we find our deepest humanity. We find each other.
Join the Conversation
Does this resonate with you? Share your thoughts in the comments—I’d love to hear your experiences with perfectionism and self-acceptance.
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